February 4th

I was sitting, doing homework. I had to look at the calendar to check a due date. That's when I realized tomorrow is February 4th. To some people, it's just another day on the calendar. I wish, more than anything that was all it was to me. For me, it's the day, thirty eight years ago, that my life changed forever.

February 4, 1970, my father was leading a fire squad on patrol near the bridge at Lang Co, Thua Thien, Vietnam. While on that patrol, he triggered an enemy explosive device. That explosion, serverely injured him. He lost both legs, his left arm and likely his left eye. Despite the best efforts of the medical personnel aboard the USS. Repose, he also lost his life two weeks later, on February 18th.

Needless to say, the two weeks between the 4th and the 18th are my least favorite throughout the year. Add in Valentine's Day on the 14th, and I would be more than happy to erase February from my calendar completely. But instead, I have to live through it each year. I spend alot of time between trying to ignore it and mentally preparing myself to deal with the inevitable emotional fall out that will come. Usually, I make it about half way before it catches up to me. Unless, I have to look at a calendar, like today.

I've always wished I would get to a place in my life where I could see those dates on the calendar and not get a knot in my stomach. I've wished for that as often as I've wished that none of it had ever happened and that I could pick up the phone right now and call Daddy the way I call his brother. I know that is never going to happen. Doesn't mean I don't still wish it. So what do I wish for now?

Tonight, my wishes are really prayers. I pray that Daddy is at peace. And I pray for peace of mind and spirit for the others who served and sacrificed there, I know how elusive it has been for so many. I pray for the families of the sevicemen and women currently serving in harms way, especially the children. And I pray for my "Big Sister" Noreen, who is going back to Vietnam shortly. I pray for my godchildren, that they have the chance to grow up and know how wonderful their parents are.

And tonight, I'll say one prayer for myself...that I can sleep through the night and dream of the gifts Daddy left me, of life and not of death.

And one favor of all of you who read this, wear something red on Fridays in show of support of those serving and the families who wait at home. Trust me, those seemingly simple actions mean a great deal to those of whom we ask a great deal.

Peace be with you.