This and That

Life is a bit hectic at the moment. I'm trying to get into the swing of teaching a college class. Plus get ready for subbing at the afterschool program and balance in all my other stuff too.

This kind of crazy pace is fairly normal for me. The issue now is I really don't like running around like this anymore. It exhausts me, leaves me precious little time for the things I'd like to spend time on, and does little to help keep my mood stable. So a change is in order. I haven't worked out all the details of it yet... I do know I'm trying to be more mindful about my eating. And I plan to start running...again...once this heat breaks. But more importantly, I'm looking to make some other changes. My goal this year is to work towards more stability in my life.

Scary, I know. I usually run from stability as fast as possible. And it might not be the word I am really looking for. All I know is when I sat on the beach last Saturday, I watched the gulls floating on the waves, moving with them, but still being calm and centered. That is what I want for myself. Just have to figure out how to do it...and not freak out about it.

In serious need of a fix

I am in serious need of an ocean fix. I haven't been to the ocean since June.
I tend to avoid the coast over the summer in order to avoid the tourists. Between the fact that they are people and that a number of them leave my favorite beaches a mess, it's just better to avoid the whole thing.

I can usually get through until September or so. Not so much this year...I've been landbound too long already. I'm tired, I'm stressed and as a result, I'm getting bitchier and more depressed by the minute. So I am going to go to get my fix of ocean breezes, salt water and my gulls. It is going to be my birthday present to myself. The plan is to leave early Saturday morning and not come home until past nightfall. The true brilliance of the plan is that where I am going, my cell phone does not work. I'm turning it off anyways, just in case (Mercury retrograde is funny that way). The only creatures I plan on speaking with are my gulls. Along with the ocean, I desperately need the peace and quiet that comes with it.

So for those planning to call, text or email me on Saturday, I won't be getting back to you until Sunday at the earliest. If I don't post a blog between now and then, have a great weekend.

Sanctuary 2

So it has been another long and difficult week. I'm frustrated by almost everyone and everything. Never a good thing, made worse by the ongoing lack of enough sleep. Add in yesterday's snow and it is nothing short of a miracle that I'm still in New England at all right now.

Everything in me keeps wanting to just walk away from all of it. I very well may end up doing that at some point. I'm at least letting myself be open to the possibility that it is time to try somewhere else for awhile at least. I have a few obligations to see out...plus needing to find full-time employment. I'll have to wait and see how it goes.

In the meantime, I'm planning another escape to the beach tomorrow. Warm, sunny weekday...few people as yet. Just me, the sand and waves and my gulls (Hush, I don't want to hear it). At least for a few hours, I'll have some peace of mind and spirit...maybe.