Grabbing a Coyote by the tail...

A littel bit of chaos is a good thing. Really it is.... Okay, so I tend to like chaos more than your average person. Well maybe like is to strong a word. Let's just say I'm really good manuevering amidst chaos. There have been many a day I've wished I was organized and disciplined...usually when I'm pulling an all-nighter in order to finish a paper on time. But, that's just not me. Sigh.
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I have learned a neat trick about chaos though. It is absolutely necessary to create any kind of order. Yep, that's me, your Paradox Girl. But its true! For example, my room/office has been a disaster for months. From the time grad school ended through to recently, everything has been a mess. As I've mentioned, my life of late has been a bit of a train wreck...or at least felt like it. (But that is a blog for another time) I finally decided to get it in order so things would be a little easier for me to manage (Frightening I know). But to do so, I had to take the chaos that existed, blow it up and then create something out of it.

The result...a nice, tidy, somewhat (okay, it is ME we are talking about here) organized bedroom/office/studio. You can even see the floors! There is of course still more chaos to tame. I have files from grad school to go through...deciding what to keep, what to recycle. Not to mention my clothes to sort through or my books to get in order. But all in all, things are much calmer in my space. With any luck, the calm will translate to me being able to sleep better at night (or at all).

So the grand cosmic lesson in all this...a little chaos can be a good thing. You have to have the courage to face it though. If you don't, it runs amok with fears, doubts and their ilk, creating all sorts of messes. So much better to grab the Coyote by the tail and create something better of your own design.

Really? Was this necessary?

So it appears the best laid plans can go right out the window in mere seconds. Apparently my coyote totem has come to play. My plan to start running again after Saturday no matter what my feet said has run into a rather painful snag... Not the fascitis, no that would have been expected. No, it had to be something way more creative than that.

I'm pretty sure I broke one of my toes this morning. Of course, clever me didn't really notice it until this evening. (No, I am not going to the hospital...unemployed and no insurance. I do not need a 4 hour wait, an x-ray and a doctor telling me there is nothing I can do but ice and ibuprofen) OK, yes I knew I had cracked it on something in the basement. (Yes I was barefoot at the time, no I'm not going to start wearing shoes around in the house, that would just be silly) However, I went about my business. I'm guessing it didn't hurt much because my cowboy boots were keeping the swelling down. At least until I had to take them off to change for work.Now my toe is swollen and a lovely shade of purple...sort of like my finger was last spring when I broke it. Needless to say, it hurts like hell too!

But I mean really? Was this really necessary? With all the other hits I've taken lately, with a fair amount of grace and patience, (OK it is subjective, like my state of sanity) it is not fair. Yeah, yeah, life's not fair. But, really? Come on, what does a girl have to do to catch a break around here? Sigh! I suppose it could have been worse...it could have been another flat tire.